Hits that don’t hurt

Of course the pun is intended…

I think its about time, to address this issue. One of friends asked me, how did make your blog popular?To be honest, I never thought about its popularity until he brought it up . I started to think about it though. When can you start gloating about hits on a blog? I thought why not write a few corollaries of the rules I came up with last time

Well for people new to the concept, every time a computer, other than your own, accesses the blog, you get what is called a “hit”. I guess, most people think more the hits, better the popularity. However, its not quite the case. More the page impressions, better the popularity. A page impression occurs when a new computer accesses the blog/page for the first time. Of course that’s for people who want it to be the case.

Why can’t I write????

Its been three weeks since I have been able to sit myself down and write a decent post.  Decided to revive a recent travelogue…gave up…I decided to force myself to be poetic….never works now does it? I decided to write a movie review, didn’t feel so, I mean…it would have been the easiest thing to do…I saw a movie, I write what I feel…done….but why can’t I do it today ? I have been informing myself on new media technologies and have to as a requirement, write something every week, I didn’t get around to that this week. I suddenly decided to delve deeper into this mystery. Afterall this was no laughing matter !! After half hour of pensive thought…I found the answer. I have hit a writer’s block.

A writer’s block describes Wikipedia, is a ‘temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity. Bang on the money !! I thought about it…and for a moment felt a bit “cool”…I realized that I am a writer…as only they can hit a block…right? Duh….I dismissed the thought. I am not a published writer (except for one poem)….I can’t cop out with that excuse. What is it that I have written? Only thoughts…transformed into what the blogosphere terms “posts” which themselves are sporadic, intermittent and erratic. Actually, there is no loss of inspiration…especially not today. There are a lot of things which happened today …and actually I should have been spoiled for choice….it should have been a case of “what should I write about”…

(Untitled)…

Who’s there??? Answer me…I will pull the trigger….<bang> <bang>

I woke up…drenched in sweat….with a fear that chilled my spine. I fumbled around and found my glasses. I heard an eerie sound almost like a wolf…howling in pain.  Crap, left the porch door open again. The wind was howling and breaking in through every available crevice….May be to find warmth? I grabbed my blanket…why was it on the floor? I must have been tossing and turning again in my sleep. I grabbed my pack of smokes and wrapping the blanket close…went to the porch. I lit a cigarette and tried to calm my nerves. As always, I carried my whiskey flask and took a long slug, almost emptied the flask. Better. The spirit warmed me a touch and filled my heart with a fake feeling of security. Its strange isn’t it how alcohol soothes you? I lit another cigarette, the old one burned down to the filter, unnoticed in my hand. My hand was still shivering, aching. May be it was the cold. But as I tried to make a fist, my knuckles seemed to hurt. I snapped on the porch light. The night was still, cold and windy, yet serene. The sudden flash of light made me wince. Ouch, should have thought of that before. I staggered almost blinded and snapped it off. Idiot. I felt as if I had punched someone hard…Some skin had come of them. I stopped paying attention to the pain….in a minute I felt better. May be it was the spirit…What the hell happened?

This had become far too common…waking up in the middle of the night…sometimes minutes after I passed out…with that same  gnawing fear. That nightmare…was tormenting me, leading me to insomnia. It wasn’t so bad before, but I haven’t had any sleep in the past week and it was starting to tell. My reflexes have slowed, I have lost my appetite, their are dark circles under my eyes….and my face…looks almost unrecognizable. I switched off the bathroom light. Splashing water in my face only made me a bit more alert. The whiskey was kicking in now. I could feel  my footsteps a little labored. I reached in the cabinet and took the bottle. It was empty. Strange. My hand was killing me. I decided to take a better look at it.

I took the first aid box, it had blood all over it. D must have cut himself again. He is so clumsy when it comes to chopping…why can’t he more careful. But so much blood? I realized that I had not run into him for a week or so. Man..the rent is due again. Fuck… this never ends…does it? I found some antiseptic and cleaned the wound. Quite strange how calm I was. I took a piece of cotton and gauze and dressed the wound. The army training still came in handy.

I looked at my knife, took it from the sheath…it was right next to the first aid box. Strange place for it to be. I was looking all over for it. It gleamed  viciously in the desk light.  I tried my impression of an evil smile  which split my face in half.  Ah…c’mon who was I kidding? I knew even if I had to I would never hurt a human being  on purpose. Besides thats what my teacher  preached. “Never misuse the power you have…you are gifted Roger. I may have trained disciples who were better than you…but have something  they don’t…and could never acquire…the power to say No. You can take any of these hot heads….but I am sure you will never initiate a fight. I am proud of you “.  I remembered the day almost 10 years  ago….as if it happened this moment. Those words of wisdom never left me…

I touched his feet and took his blessing, something I picked up from the Yoga tutor in India.  I crashed on the couch again, tried to go back to sleep. I saw it was almost day break….shit….I knew I had to be up soon anyway. Who did I hit? Or did someone hit me? What the hell happened last night? The wound was still fresh. What couldn’t I remember?

Kahin toh hogi – A SOS

One of my most favorite songs (since the last month or so, by that I mean that I know it by heart and listen to it at least 3 times a day or so…)… “Kahin toh Hogi” from the movie “Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na”. This is one song which grows on you. The more you listen to it, the more you like it. In Australia, it is almost considered a rule to have some sort of musical apparatus connected to your ears….It helps you to move out from the crowd and go places in your mind. The physical location, does not matter much. However, as a cautionary tip….keep the volume low, as someone might just jump on top of somewhere in a lonely spot. Listen to the song if you haven’t yet.

Nice isn’t it? A melodious tune which sort of captivates you. In a way, my initial thought was to send out a SOS to all the single girls (who is single now a days??). You know…I am single too . I have wondered for ages, why is it that things haven’t clicked for me. I have almost lost faith, only to have seen a success story, quite similar to mine…and it has made my resolve stronger. My housemate (GD) was listing the things he has achieved and the master/grander plan.
24-Post Grad & PR; 25: Job & Car, 26: Citizenship; 27:Marriage ; 28: House

Well…I didn’t have one and I think, since I have achieved things (only two so far), I can have a list of my own: 24: Post Grad; 25: Job, Adv Diploma; 26: PR; 27: Citizenship….What next? And in all honesty, the wheels have been set in motion on all these milestones. So getting to them, is a matter of time than anything. Theoretically should be smooth sailing. But then..what lies after…these are after all, professional goals/milestones….But what about personal ones?

Marriage? I don’t know…I mean…for one I don’t think I am ready at this given moment…and neither do I love someone…and I really doubt I am going in for Arranged Marriage. Personal relationships and Career always seem to be at loggerheads…I guess achieving a perfect harmony is almost impossible.One suffers if the other is on the rise…takes up your time…so the other one suffers..right? Plus to add to it, where is it that you can FIND single girls? Well….screw it….This is a SOS….