Jab we met

I remember three of my “firsts”….from my past…so vividly….as if they happened yesterday. Well I don’t recall some of the exact details, as they are quite old….but these three meetings are the most memorable “firsts” for me…

Jab (when) I met my best friend ever:

On the eve of my birthday, my folks asked me to make a list of all the gifts I wanted (back in the day, it used to be a list….and I was modest in my demands…so ended up getting most things on mine…unlike my greedy brother !!). In the year 1990, when I was 7….I didn’t have a lot of extravagant items on my list. Plus…I had a good life…and had everything that I wanted … apart from that something which was missing in my life. In that messed up phase of my life (apparently nothing apart from my attitude was messed up)….I asked my parents to get me a dog…and refused to settle for anything less. Finally my folks gave in and we went “dog shopping”…I remember we got a Pomeranian for INR 500, which was a steep amount, for a gift for a 7yr old in those days. I remember, we went to some house, don’t know where….my spatial abilities were almost zero (could have been somewhere close to Pune University or Deep Bangla Chowk)….and in the backyard, there was a cage…5-6 dogs were roaming about in the yard. We dismounted from our car (Maruti Suzuki Gypsy..man I miss that car) and me, Dad and big bro made it to the door. The dogs started barking and the owner of the house came out….and greeted us. Dad had called him in advance and we had an appointment !! He put the dogs on a leash and took them away. In a cage around the corner were a few pups…Alsatians, German Shepherds, Dobermans and Poms. All of them looked so cute….and me and bro were wide eyed….I remember….this pup…which was snugly sleeping…and instantly I knew that was the one I wanted….I said to Dad that “Baba, thats the one I want”….

What is a best friend ? The definition differs from person to person…. Like I said, I was a problem child. I had a lot of issues with things…people let me be..as I apparently had a bad ass temper. I scared people (that was always laugh !!!!) and some of my hot headed comments have scarred people for life or so they told me. Well…to be honest..I guess I was fighting to find something….someone….not a “soul mate” or the “love of my life”…but a friend…someone I could talk to…and someone who would listen and understand….or at least pretend that he/she did….and then I found him….
What is it about the first meeting that is so important? I am not just talking about ‘love at first sight’….I am just saying….what is it about the first meeting that appeals so much to people. I take that stance, as I, an introvert who rarely mixed with new acquaintances, recently have undergone a marked change. I think I thrive in a any situation, with any kind of people, new or old, extremely unnatural for me.

We got the pup…(against the wish of the owner as the pup was sick and had the least chances of survival)….a month and a half old pup….in the October of 1990. I remember I used to talk to him…play with him…take care of him and even fight with him.

My bro decided to name him “Bingo”…but I rarely called him that….I used to call him whatever came to my mind for that matter !! That cute little furry thing, became my best friend and my whole life revolved around him. I don’t know what became of him…we had to give him away as he became excessively violent. May be my parents put him to sleep, after he almost bit my Grandpa’s toe off. I didn’t think I could ever forgive them for that…then again….I think I have made my peace with it.

Apart from the ups and downs….the fun and frolic….the games we played….the times when he bit me…a couple of times…when he almost bit my arm off….the million times when he threatened worse….the zillion times I punished him….he was and will always be my best friend…..the one who knew everything there was to know about me….the one who always listened….the one who always cared…the one…who never said anything in return…apart from nod…or a shake of his furry head or an occasional bark and most of all who didn’t want anything in return….apart from a pat on the back….or a slice of chicken….(or any kind of food for that matter !!) …

I think …. the journey of our kinship began when i set my eyes on him….he was a gift, which I picked out….which my parents gave me…..the best one I have ever got…

I remember that moment…..when I met my best friend…

Jab we met (part II)

In this series of three I wish to reflect on my most favourite “first meets”. This one in particular was something which changed my life, for the first time, for good and….for good, if you know what I mean !!After having come to Australia to pursue my post graduation, I spent a the first few days at my friend’s uncle’s place. After having lived a life of extreme luxury and comfort, in their house, I started looking for a new accommodation. I found one, thanks to that same friend, may be calling him my guardian angel would be more apt, a few days later. I was welcomed with great warmth and I was absorbed like sugar in a glass of hot milk (yoikes I never thought that I will ever use a simile with milk in it !!!).

After getting enrolled, paid my fees, having got a bank account, acquired and activated a SIM card, found a place to stay and finally having got settled, I started on the last thing on the “things to do after I go to Sydney ” list. I tried anything and everything….kept drawing blanks….until that day. On the 18th of August I guess my stars finally decided to “shine” on me…little did I know….that the shining…was in itself…to be a bane (I had to make sure that things were clean and shining….actually….) !! My room mate the time, Akshay ( aka Fauji) asked me to go with him and help him interpret an Asian guy on the phone for a prospective job. I was enthusiastic for him, as he was struggling and rocking in the same boat.

I volunteered readily. He thrust the receiver in my hand expectantly, and tried to control himself from bursting out laughing. I don’t mean to sound rude and imply that we were making fun of the guy’s accent. Well..he was very very hard to understand…to put it lightly…In fact I did not understand him at all. All I got from a three minute conversation (for which we both rummaged through our pockets and kept feeding the phone meter)….was that….”Come to the basement of 72 Belmore road, Randwick and I will fix you both with a JOB”…..Did he say a JOB??? For the both of us ????? I didn’t car what I had to do…I absolutely did not care…I wanted the money…I was going crazy converting everything I bought (including cigarettes and booze) into Indian Rupees (INR) and it was starting to hurt. I could seriously understand two things 72 Belmore road and JOB. I hung up saying that we will be over in 20 mins. After a bated breath, I asked Fauji…..”Fauj…job kya hai ??”…He said that someone gave him the number and supposedly it was a Car Wash joint.

Sweet…we half ran half walked our way through the Uni of NSW, taking stairs three at a time…excited…exuberant…and happy…finally we landed a job..

As it turned out….72 Belmore road was harder to find that it seemed.I don’t know why my boss to be Tony, gave us that address…I mean it would have been easier to say … ” Come to the basement of the Randwick Shopping plaza”…easy right ?? I guess if you had a navigator in your car and were stating the address to a customer….72 Belmore road would have been fine. Anyways…after frantically searching for the address…..we finally had a brainwave. I asked a girl…I picked a good looking one…in a shiny car…”do you know if there is a car wash around here?”….And viola….

Up until this point in my life…I never had a job….ever…I had been living off my parents….When you are over 23….qualified…and by that I mean…you have a piece of paper which says you are an engineer…and are studying in a foreign land…and out of a job….it starts hurting….and the feeling of “mooching of your parents” starts to creep in. In fact since it had been something like a month….it starts to haunt you….if you have a straight conscience…you do something about it…and would like that voice bouncing in your head…. to stop…or at least die down to a murmur…

With all kinds of mixed feelings and a bile rising in my throat…I finally confronted…what was to be my first work place….Shop and Wash car wash..

The interviewer only asked the interviewees two things….”who is available today and who can work tomorrow”….I answered positive to the first question and in negative to the second….so it meant good bye for my friend….for the day…he would start the next day and I was asked to start straightaway…..

Of course something that excited me a lot…was the hot chicks with hot (albeit really dirty) cars….queuing up…..and rekindling the old fantasy…hehe… guys will be guys!!!

I have been going on and on about a lot of things…but the one thing…the one meet that I still remember…is the moment..when my boss (who I found out later was a refugee of the Vietnam war..who came and settled in Australia….used to do the same job I auditioned for….well in a way…because when he looked at me..I felt the glance similar to the one…the Master subjects the “gladiators to be” in the movie…the Gladiator)…….handed me my first pay check…AuD 20/- for two hours of work…which roughly converted to INR 700/- (The Oz dollar was higher then).

I cherish that bill….that red piece of paper….and I will hold it dear…that’s the first time…I met…my first pay…and it changed me….for life….

I will remember it…for life….

Jab we met part 3:

Continuing on from the last two posts, I conclude this series of three “first meets” with possibly the one, which some people believe in, most don’t and some pretend not to believe in, but secretly wish and long for the very same thing to happen to them….love at first sight…or sometimes…love at first meet. (Wow…that is a complicated sentence, one I am sure my primary school English teacher won’t fancy much!!).

I am referring to what was and probably still is called the “meet cute” in Hollywood movie circles. I came across the term in a warm romantic comic flick called the “Holiday”, starring Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jack Black and Jude Law. I think it has been used in a very appalling and crude way in Hindi/ Bollywood counterparts. Anyways…I have been rambling on and on..

Where was I…oh yes….the meet cute…that happens when the guy meets the girl…for the first time….and they fall in love and live happily ever after….well…not right away…else it would be too good to be true. Now it is hard to admit for most people….but me…I have no scruples (NOT!!)…so I am not ashamed in saying that I have been there more than a few times. I guess no one who knows me…will confirm my belief that I am a hopeless romantic…Nah…I am not. If you ask me, everyone is one, when they are in love….think about it…

Anyways….even though I am not….it didn’t stop me from “having a rush of blood” or getting that “tingling feeling going down my spine”, when you see that someone, who you think could be that special someone….sometimes momentarily…some times, if you are lucky, forever…..

At times I have actually asked that girl out…mustered all my courage….to do so….(I mean these girls were too good to lose !!!) only to have been rejected. I don’t intend to tell sorry tales. However, I did want to state that in my case….always been the case of all that glitters has always been gold….but I could never claim it as mine…..well may be that’s the wrong idiom….I think I will leave it at that…What I find refreshing is that all those failures haven’t changed my beliefs and hey…life is too long to say that I failed….there will come a time…for me…after all every dog has its day right ? That’s what I keep telling myself…doesn’t work every time…

Now let me tell you about the magical “meet cutes”….of course….there have been more than one….

I met this person, and almost instantly fell for her and hard, if you know what I mean. We both were in our teens. I remember the instant I set my eyes on her. We just boarded a train, after having had to rush to get the tickets and the train set out. Did I forget to mention that we were going together? Okay…so we were…and I didn’t know her, she was a friend of a friend…in town…visiting. I looked at the six girls in the group sizing them up, I set my eyes on her the last. I think she was wearing a red and white colored top (although I wouldn’t stick my neck out too far), a pair of blue jeans with flip flops/sandals to complete her attire. She had her hair in a pigtail and did not seem to care much about how she looked….and she did look just fine….may be a touch more !! A small backpack hung around her slim and athletic frame and what struck me was that she was probably a touch taller than what I was!! Throughout the day, I was trying hard to eaves drop on whatever it is that she said….find excuses to talk to her….or just plain walk next to her…

(I am cautious about keeping the details to a minimum as I do not want to disclose her identity, obviously as things didn’t work out between the two of us. She is aware about my feelings, but since it led to a lot of misunderstandings, I will refrain from giving up too much information about her but still want to keep the story telling bit interesting, so please bear with me)

We were off to a short trek not far from the city where I resided then. All of the petty details seem irrelevant to me, so I will refrain from narrating the whole episode. Now, the meet cute, in this case, did not come at the very instant I set my eyes on her. It actually came when we were heading back. I remember vividly that she and I ended up talking. And for once, I was “listening” more than talking myself. It was so unusual for me to listen to a girl, I met for the first time in my life and feel so close to her. Most of the things she said that evening are lost on me now…but I can still remember….I was getting worked up as some anti social elements, a regular sight on the trains, were passing lewd comments and ogling the girls…..I felt her looking at me….and she followed my gaze….and knew what was brewing in my mind…..and out of the blue she said…..extremely easily….”Oye life ko itna seriously na liya kar (Hey don’t take life too seriously)….just learn to relax and enjoy“. I was hooked.

I had just been out of love and was trying to get over my ex girl, who incidentally,  was also amongst the group that day….staring at me….still very much in love with me….hurt….and I felt torn between seeing her reactions and her puzzled (even angry) looks….and being captivated by the laid back and refreshing attitude of the girl next to me. On the one hand I was feeling bad for my ex (…as to this day she and I still are the best of friends…and she has moved on…very much in love, is engaged and about to be married soon !!) but on the other, I was infatuated and possibly in love. Its extremely hard to describe to what exactly was it that drew me to her….may be her level headed approach, a “no fuss” attitude towards life the innocence about her and most of all he “I don’t give a damn” way of asserting herself…and whats more is I for one, didn’t mind being “told” what to do….I smiled…

Even now as I relive it, I feel that same tingling feeling going down my spine….and that same smile….out of the blue….lights up my face. I remember that moment when she lightly placed her tired head on my shoulders saying “Kitna time lagega ghar jaane ko ? Thak gayi yaar (How far are we to go? I am tired mate)” and I stiffened suppressing a shudder of excitement (hell I think I had to try really hard not to jump as if I got electrocuted) going through my veins…I remember that moment….when I was looking at this stranger…a beautiful human being….sitting next to me in the train….and feeling….I am so in love with her….and that she is the one.

I was young…probably didn’t know right from wrong (I didn’t even know her well enough)…and may be the story wouldn’t mean a lot to the anyone else, but I urge, to everyone and anyone….think of the time when that moment came into your life….remember it…..savour it…. cherish it, for whoever was there should consider themselves lucky.

JWM 3????

Moving on in life is very hard, especially if you dwell on your past. I guess it took me a lot of time to get over that feeling…I felt for her….but like I said, I have been lucky enough….to have been there a few times after that. Its funny how time heals a lot of your wounds…I felt the similar feeling a few years later. Incidentally, this time too, at a trek….(may be I should take up trekking up again !!).

I knew this girl, who had grown up with me, and had since then been a very close and dear friend of mine for a couple of years…… Now this “meet” was different…she was dead tired and was “huffing and puffing”…and seeing her…trying hard to put on a show that she could make it to the top, was actually bordering on being funny. We all knew she couldn’t…but this damsel was determined to prove us wrong. I think…it was the first time, this girl let her guard down….I think she was too tired to pretend….and I saw “her”, for the first time in 15-17 years of knowing her. This time the “meet cute” came after over a decade and half, of knowing one another…. but actually having “met” her…. for the very first time. I remember her….. trying to pretend that she is tough enough to make it and trying to hide that she was tired…trying very hard to keep the mask on….and more so I remember that instant when she gave up…smiled at me and whispered …”shit I am really tired…” ….and I returned hers with a even broader one …and kept on staring at her…thinking….have I always been so in love with her all these years….or is that I am just falling for her….but the sudden gush of emotions which came over me….made me feel that I had been crazy about her for a long long time…again…on our way back…we talked as if we had never talked before, and again, I listened to what she had to say….because it was the first time, possibly, that she was actually talking….and I remember that moment when I looked at her…seated next to me….with the bus jerking and rumbling along…..looked in her eyes….saw her pretty face… she closed her eyes momentarily from fatigue….and I wondered….”God she is just so beautiful…I wanna hold her close to my heart and never let go…”. And at that very moment she looked into my eyes….and I thought we both knew…and I could not keep her stare….and I looked away..blushing to the hilt !!! (Its imperative of me to say that she felt the same for another guy…many years later….the one she will be married to…and I wish the world for her…)

JWM 3????

I was at the receiving end too at times. I too have been asked out (I am not a complete loser you know!!!). A sweetheart of mine….once while she was reminiscing …narrated to me…the first time she saw me…and fell madly in love with me….I was washing my car…she was looking out her window….and that was that…amazing isn’t it? I once fell in love …(I do seem to do that lot..don’t I ??) when my friend, a masseuse was giving me a massage (and its not what you might think…it was LOVE!!!!) and once…when I was dancing and the girl was addressing me with some other guy’s name !!!! I have always found it hard to believe, but two of my closest friends…and absolute sweethearts…have told me that they used to idolize me….(hehe…every time I say it, it cracks me up as there could not be a worse role model than yours truly) but the funny bit is that one tried hard to be as good and tough as I was….(I did not know then that I was tough !!! ) and the other, tried harder to be as nasty and obnoxious as I was (Which I knew I was…big time) !! They each fell in love with a guy….one liked the determined tough nut…while the other loved the bad boy….unbelievable isn’t it …it has always been for me (and a bit scary too…Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde all over again)!!

JWM 3????

But coming back…to the “meet cutes”…I think there is something about me and journeys, with vulnerable, talented & out spoken girls seated next to me. I mean come to think about it, it never dawned on me, that the three instances I was to narrate, were all linked by that very same common thread….”journey”…there has been one other instance…and as they say..I felt then…may be “third time lucky”?!…

Anyways…the third and final “meet cute” came again, in a bus, when the girl next to me (OMG this sounds too similar to be true, I myself am having a hard time trying to believe it) sang to me. Now this girl came right out of the pages of my imagination. Over years of crushes, flings and relationships, I had a well rounded image in my mind about the kind of girl I would fall for…(basically the math was simple….it was …just taking the positives from the first three girls….dividing it by the negatives of the two…may be I should leave it for later…hehe..).I have always had a thing about artistic girls (preferably left handed, don’t ask me…may be it’s a fetish !!). This girl matched each and everything on my “I want” list…(well the only thing was that she is right handed, but who gives a damn when the rest of her is so perfect …. and may be the fetish was wearing off….thank god!!).

When a really talented artist, wins you over, all you can really do is be blown away….and stand there…with your mouth wide open….gaping…as if in disbelief….thinking…”no way”….I felt that no one could be this perfect…..Having known this girl, is a privilege and I am her “fan” for life. Being around her, flirting with her and competing with my very own brothers (both my real brother and cousins…..) to attract her attention and wooing her was great fun. Come to think of it…we were all over her like a pack of hungry dogs…..And I kept on wondering why she thought we were all a tad weird….

Over the course of three days that we were together, it was (again..man this should be a sign !!!) on our way back ….in a …yup you guessed it right…a bus…as she sang to me…a song, which she wrote for a guy she loved….that the meet cute came. As she sang…she expressed lot more than just her true feelings, her obvious talent, witty penmanship and musical sense…. As she finished…I looked her in the eye…and had to shout to make sure she heard me over the din in the bus ….”It was great…I think you are extremely talented….I am your biggest fan…..”. As she looked in mine…she could see what was really on my mind….and heard the words….but understood exactly what I wanted to say…without me saying it….she closed her eyes….sighed….and looked away…

JWM 3????

The “meet cute” is a quintessential part of life….It is said that there is someone (specially made) for everyone.Taking this path down memory lane brings back a lot of mixed feelings… A cloud of doubt crosses over my mind…I feel at times, that I am a nomad…lost, down…but not quite out. I was there…thrice…and I stalled….

They say that “a burnt child dreads fire”….well I do so too now….the third time too was un-lucky…..its harder to believe in yourself….and it even harder to stand up….as every time you fall…you fall harder…..its very hard to console yourself…and its of utmost importance that you learn to do so…..I have spent so much time…on wondering why things didn’t work out…and what was wrong….with me of course…..I feel that probably the time has come, for me to cherish the good things which came out from these experiences….and let go. They say that if you love someone, you should let them go…if they come back..they are your’s forever…..and if they don’t…they never were your’s to begin with.

They moved on…with apparent ease….(it wasn’t them who fell was it?)….I slowly and painfully….made my way to this very place where I stand….I have no regrets…no remorse….and I don’t hold grudges…I doubt if I will ever experience that feeling again…..But no matter what … I consider myself lucky to have been there …and am happy having done that…

Life is journey… I remember these moments…(and I will for life). Sometimes when things don’t work out….even a moment….seems to drag out to be longer than a lifetime….on others….a lifetime….seems to come and go…as briskly as a moment….In each of these very moments…I lived a lifetime …and found love…in each and everyone …and lost it as well…

These tiny moments make up a lifetime…but a lifetime can be spent cherishing these moments….

So long as I keep at the “journey” …. I think I will reach my destination…some day or the other….

Cheers

PS This anecdote is only meant to convey my feelings at a time which has come and gone many many years ago. I hope this does not affect anyone adversely. I hope that the girls mentioned herein find forgiveness in their heart and more so…find that very special someone…..for themselves….for those who have…I wish the world for them….for those who haven’t…hang in there….if it could happen so often with me…..man you too have a chance….

But then again…when will, if at all, it happen for me?